Thanksgiving: Writer’s Food for Thought

Holidays can be a wonderful and festive time with friends and family, but even in the best of circumstances, they often leave us feeling overwhelmed.

If finances are tight, if health is compromised, or family relationships are fractured, the holidays can magnify the emotions associated with these challenges.

So, what does all of this have to do with writing? I’m proposing a useful coping mechanism during this stressful time of year that offers some healthy emotional distance and will improve your writing: observe and record.

Taking on the role of an observer allows you to put distance between you and your emotions, providing a buffer to the stresses and demands inherent during the holidays.

Whatever writing project you are working on, your Thanksgiving celebration offers great material. From creating the setting, to describing food scenes, to developing well-rounded characters with realistic dialogue – think of your holiday as an interactive writer’s workshop.

Scenery

Writing a warm, inviting, and cozy holiday setting isn’t easy. There’s a delicate balance between describing a place with enough detail to set the mood and leaving enough room for the readers to apply their imagination. No one wants to read several pages about cobblestone streets, snowy mountain tops, and horse-drawn carriages. Providing a foundation for the scenery, the context, and a little description goes a long way.

Pay attention to what decorations or elements make your holidays feel festive. Are the outside steps decorated with pumpkins? Is there a centerpiece that ties the whole holiday together, like a vase filled with fall flowers? Do you play festive music or is the football game the soundtrack for the day? What sets the holiday mood for you?

What is the plateware like? Are you using fancy chinaware, ceramic dishes, or paper plates? Are your decorative cloth napkins wrapped in fancy rings? Do you light candles throughout the house? Do you have décor that is a family heirloom or displayed for holiday tradition?

Food

Food may not be a major focus of your novel, however, even in small doses, food can help bring a scene to life. Food is not only a necessity, but it inspires strong emotions and sensations. Throughout our lives we gather around food, sharing our celebrations, our culture, and our daily experiences.  

We all have food memories and oftentimes, these are heartfelt, connecting us to a place in time. Paying attention to the food during the holidays will help you uncover rich details to incorporate in your writing to develop a scene more profoundly.

Do you have family recipes handed down from generations? Do you cook alone or with others? Is cooking slow-paced and festive or is it chaotic and messy?

Listen to the sounds as you cook. Does your food sizzle, crackle, or simmer? Are timers beeping throughout the day? Does your oven door slam when closed? Does your whisk click against the pot?

Consider how you move through your kitchen. Are you peeking into the oven, are you floating through the kitchen gracefully, are you whisking wildly, or have you found a meditative rhythm of stirring your sauces? Are you chasing kids out of the kitchen or are they helping, standing on stools, and licking the chocolate out of the bowl?  

Observe the flavors, smells, colors, and textures of food.  What ingredients can you identify, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves? What does the house smell like when everything is cooking? Is the cranberry sauce a deep red or is it bright red because it’s from the can. Notice the decorative designs of desserts, is the pie crust pinched perfectly? Does the cake spring back when pressed?

What expressions are people making while they eat? Is it quiet at the table as they enjoy their food or is there chatter in between bites? What are people saying about the food?

Family and Friends

No matter how much you meditate or how evolved you have become, being with family can sometimes make us regress. While this is uncomfortable, it can make for great material. The best writing is honest writing. Without excusing anyone’s behavior, including your own, observe and record.

Listen to how your family and friends talk to one another. What are the initial greetings? What is their small talk like? Once people are a few drinks in, what do they really say to one another? Listening to how people talk and what they say helps writers create realistic dialogue for their characters.

What are people’s expressions? What are the covert messages communicated in their body language. Is their communication passive-aggressive, passive, or aggressive?

What’s Aunt Sally wearing? Does she dress like she’s stuck in a time warp? Are Mom and Dad loving or more like roommates? What are the little kids doing, what games do they play, how do they communicate? Are your elders respected and included or are they sitting off to the side?

Pay attention to how you feel. Are you enjoying the company or are you counting down the hours? Are you avoiding anyone? What feelings, emotions, and thoughts come up for you.

Use your loveable, neurotic family and friends as grist for the mill.

Self-Care

I can’t stress this enough, take care of yourself during this time. Even if your holidays are truly merry and don’t feel overwhelming, by the end, you will be depleted and need to replenish.

Take a hot bath, excuse yourself during a family argument, walk the dog, delegate tasks, or plan a one-day staycation to look forward to after Thanksgiving is over. Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant or cost money, it can be as simple as taking time to stare at the stars for an hour in absolute quiet. Find something restorative that works for you.

Using your observations

This is a busy time so I’m not expecting anyone to continually excuse themselves to write down their thoughts as they come to mind. My short-term memory is like a sieve, so if I don’t write down my thoughts immediately, chances are, I won’t be able to recall them later. I often use the notes app on my phone because it’s always near me and looks like I’m texting someone quickly or writing down a reminder.

Observe and record in a way that works best for you. Perhaps your memory is far better than mine and you can ruminate later in the evening and record your experiences then. Or, if you are like me but don’t want to pull your phone out, you can excuse yourself briefly and get your notes down.

Playing an observer role and using your material as notes for your writing provides . Instead of feeling insulted by Grandma Jane, write her wicked remark down and use it later. Trust me, it will help remove the sting when you read it back.

Even if you never use your notes as material, you’ll be surprised by how cathartic it is to release your thoughts onto paper. You may feel more like a journalist and less like a novelist, but you will also feel further removed – which can be helpful. As an observer, when the in-laws want to engage in that awkward conversation, it’s no longer your job to try to distract them with another topic, all you have to do is relax and take notes.

Stay calm and carry on – and of course, happy holidays.